I’m eating my own words. In fact I’m choking on them—every passionate,
conclusive proclamation that online dating was just for the desperate or
chronically promiscuous.
Sure in the less than a week that I’ve been participating
(you know where this post is going) I’ve seen profiles confirming, “If I think
you’re hot I’ll message you. If you think I’m hot message me… My health and my
body are really important to me *Next to a bare-chested selfie of washboard abs
taken in a bathroom mirror and accompanied by a self-assured grin*, so if yours
isn’t to you don’t even bother… I’ve worked hard for the life I’ve made and am
not looking for anything serious, but if you want to have a good time let me
know.”
As the pendulum swings there’s also been the other side,
with suitors on the hunt for their one-and-only—lover, best friend, soul mate.
In fact one of my earliest e-mails came from an older gentleman from Boulder
that was ready to stand by my side and be “ALL IN” and cherish me. I thanked
him for his gratuitous compliments and asked him how that enthusiastic
commitment and loyalty wasn’t enough to hold his first marriage together. We’ve
sort of stopped talking.
The vast majority of the profiles though, including my own,
go something like, “I just moved here and want to meet new people… I work a lot
and don’t have time to meet people… I’m not into the bar scene and NEVER
thought I’d be here but we’ll see how it goes.” (Actually, I’ve been having a blast with my
profiles and tried a few different approaches but that’s another post all
together).
I guess I should elaborate more on how this sudden and
extreme change of heart transpired. Those who know me know that I am
independent, I’ve been some places and seen some things, and am really bummed
out by all the crap divorces or tepid relationships I’ve seen. I have an
aversion to drama, so would rather walk my path solo than get tangled up in it,
and I’m a really bad liar so I can’t pretend to be in something if I’m not
feeling it—does that make me fickle?
Out of 6 siblings I’m the reigning title holder of “single the
longest,” which at some points I frankly couldn’t understand. While talking to
one of my favorite uncles at my younger sister’s college graduation party a
while ago and after having to tell him that no, there’s not a special someone
in my life right now I said, “I mean, I don’t think I suck, but apparently
dudes are not picking up what I’m laying down.” He laughed and probably thought
I was crazy. It doesn’t help that I work
in a predominantly-male industry and prefer to maintain clear work/ personal
life boundaries; or that when I’m not working I enjoy indulging my inner-hermit
and am no expert at the Denver and surrounding areas 20/30 something scene.
My parents would suggest and encourage that I give the nets
a shot, but as I said above, it made me feel like a failure—not to mention a
little project—finding something for their soon-to-be-spinster eldest daughter
before it was too late. I think pride is another reason I may have held out so
long.
Even after my attitude softened to the whole concept and I conceded
that it is a legitimate way for some people to meet others I stubbornly maintained
that it was just not the strategy for me, that come Hell or High Water I was
going to either meet someone the old –fashioned way or remain the Lone Ranger indefinitely.
Literally less than a week before I did the deed I once more
re-affirmed that I’d never be on that program in a discussion with my sister.
What prompted the 180 I can’t know, but might have to give some credit to the
relentless SEM campaigns on Pandora- it must have caused some serious erosion on
my sub-conscious. I just know it happened.
I was driving to work last Thursday and thought, you know, I think I’m going to
make a profile tonight. And I did.
About a year ago while taking a course family-life/
relationships would often come up in our non-class discussion. A handful of
peers were curious as to why I wasn’t involved with anyone serious. One peer
did say, “You don’t seem like you need anyone” and went on to elaborate that
that might be a little intimidating for a guy. I guess between that, what I
elaborated on before about not mixing work and personal life, and the fact that
it’s dang near impossible to tell who’s even taken anymore I just got in the
habit of very harmlessly placing all men in the friends/ acquaintance zone. I’ve
been residing on an Island of Safety with a “No Admittance” sign firmly posted
near the retracted drawbridge.
Apparently something has changed thought, and I just might
lower that bridge. Keep in mind I’ve been marinating in a healthy blend of
caution and skepticism my whole life, (in the words of Big John—“If you trust
em’, don’t trust ‘em!) and I’m a realist to the core so I’m not expecting to
meet “THE ONE” right out of the gate or even on the nets. I also appreciate the websites cautionary advice not to share my SSN, Wire Transfer any money, or otherwise get scammed on but I think I had that covered already.
I'm sure I'm not going to like every feller, and they definitely won't all like me; but heck, if nothing else I’ll pick up a few
new ski buddies or people to hang out with. I do so much business communication
in the digital space that the transition has really been quite natural.
So to those that may have wanted to give OLD (yikes, is that
a good acronym?!) a shot but were swayed by my negative council, I apologize. I
retract my statement like a back-peddling politician. To those that still think
its lame, you should not try. Just like I should not have tried a year ago, or
six months ago, or even a week ago. It’s all about that disposition of heart,
you know?!
First encounter kicks off tonight and is followed by a
little series including hearing live music at a joint in Boulder tomorrow, a
hike Saturday AM, and meeting up at brewery Monday night. A few others are in
the hopper (I’m telling you—it’s kind of exhausting and definitely distracting
at first). Stand by for details, I’ll let you know how it goes.
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